Not much time left...

It has been quite the roller coaster ride. It has been years since I have posted. I don't really know where to start. I don't really recall where I left off. We just went into auto pilot mode and moved forward one step at a time. Sometimes it was one day at a time, sometimes it was literally one second at a time. We have come so far. There is so much that has transpired during the years my husband has been in prison. Am I still with him? Absolutely!! Do I still back him? 100%! His story, nor the facts surrounding this case have not changed. He is the love of my life and even more so now. I look forward to the day he will be home and in our arms again. Our life has been forever changed.

Like I said, I don't know where to start to catch up, so maybe I will just move forward. We have been extorted for money, Larry has been attacked and broken his finger, his life was sparred narrowly, so much has transpired. The one thing we know for certain is that the Lord has been a shining light in each of our lives, guiding us and protecting not only him, but each of us.

Our kids have both been through a tremendous amount of heart ache and pain, but have found people that make their lives a brighter place to be in.

Danene is dating a guy named Alex who she met her Senior year after we moved to Homedale, Idaho (oh, yeah we moved to get out of the place our nightmare began). She started dating him, a while into the relationship he joined the church and was baptized by our son Draydon. Alex decided to serve a mission for our church and is now serving in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He and Danene plan to marry when he returns. Alex will get home from his mission 10 days after Larry gets out of prison. Perfect timing for our sweet Danene who wants nothing more than for her dad to be at her wedding reception. She dreamed of the day she would marry her entire life and her dad has always been a part of that dream.

Draydon left to serve a mission for our church before Alex decided to, he was called to Phoenix, Arizona. He left to go to the MTC (missionary training center) in Provo, Utah. When he was there for 5 days, I received an email from him, then a call from his leaders telling me he needed to come home. It was called a medical leave, he simply had a tough time and could not function there. It ended up a good thing and he was considered by the church to have come home honorably. He still struggles a bit, but knows that it is what the Lord wanted for him. He is still trying to find what it is he needs to be doing, but I am certain he will.

Danene and Draydon did not get to visit their dad until each were 18 years old. That was horrifying for them and caused so much pain and heartache. I would never wish on any parent, the anguish I had to witness my children suffer. Draydon suffered longest since his 18th birthday was 2 years after Danene's. He suffered extreme anxiety attacks and night terrors where he would wake up screaming ad crying for his dad. It was truly heartbreaking.

For today, we are all good and truly looking forward to when Larry comes home for good in about 20 months. I can't believe we have come so far. I will write more later, for now I just wanted to update with the basics.

Thank you for all the support, love and encouragement we have received from so many of you. God be with you all.

Lots to update

It has been quite a while since I updated the blog. So much has happened and some of it has been very difficult to share. I have gotten a little bit of judgement from a few family members because of this blog. I have a very large family and at first I was so hurt that some deleted me off facebook all over this blog. I counted and realized that I lost 8 members of my family off facebook. I then recounted the family I still had and that count equaled 98 members still on my facebook. Then I realized that there were and still are many of my family members that are not even on facebook. I then was able to see that I have far more support than nonsupport.

So, Larry was at Snake River in their '3 side' for a very short while when he was attacked from behind. They then moved him to the '2 side' I guess each side is a bit less violent. He hopes to get to '1 side' soon but has been told you have to be there for a year before you can go to '1 side'. I struggled with sharing the information about him being attacked because I was fearful that some people might feel he deserved it. I feel like no matter what you may feel about him or even others that have been convicted of the same type of offense, it is still not right to have their family suffer like that. Larry can handle a beating, he is a big tough guy and I don't worry about him so much, but if you knew how it made his mother and children cry, you would see that it is not right to make a family suffer like that. His head was split and bleeding, his finger got broken, and his nose was bloody. He became very jumpy and uneasy after the attack because he was attacked from behind and didn't see it coming. I can't believe that men can think they are cool to jump someone from behind. It is very bothersome and caused a great amount of tears for my children and especially my mother in law. I hurt for them.

I quit posting here when that happened. It was hard because I was so angry!! I am trying to forgive and learn that everyone in this life has a story and a family and usually someone somewhere loves them. We are learning some very powerful lessons. My kids have admitted that they are not ready to forgive some people in this case, and for now that is ok. I feel it will come in time.

I am able to see Larry about twice a week now. As of today, it has been 4 months since my kids have seen their dad. It has been awful, they have nightmares and cry about it a lot. I feel so bad for them. I would even give my visits away if I could make them happen for my kids. They need their dad. We have appealed the decision for them to not see him, and we are awaiting the appeal. I pray it will happen soon.

We have moved to Homedale about a month ago. We are all so much happier here. I can finally feel like we are starting to live again. Life is good and I still love the man I married more than ever. I had a wonderful visit with him today, it was very spiritual and I felt the spirit with us and I can feel his love for Larry.

yet another tough day!

I had a few family members delete me off facebook today. It is days like today that I would love nothing more than to just talk to Larry for a moment. I love him so much and I miss my best friend. He is my favorite person on this earth. I am so glad that there are those that know him and love him. My family members that have deleted me are ones that don't know Larry at all and have no clue as to the truths of this whole thing. They believe the rumors they have heard and refuse to even hear any of what is the truth. It is funny how people can become so closed minded and intentionally hurt others and still feel good about themselves. I miss him so much, but I am glad that I have not been able to talk to him because he does not deserve to hear of all the drama caused by others.

I am so thankful for my Aunts who are loving and kind. I have some really amazing Aunts who love me more than I could ever repay. I also have my mother and sisters who are so loving and kind. I don't know why it hurts me so much when others are so cruel, but when they are family, you would hope they could love you like you love them. I still love them and that is why I have spent the whole day crying my eyes out. I dislike the way that Satan attempts to destroy families. I wish there was a place to run and hide, but I will face my accusers and hold my head high because I know the truth.

I hope all of my loved ones and supporters know how very special they are to me. I hope I will be able to afford to talk to Larry on his birthday!

Larry's address

Snake River Correctional Institution (SRCI)

Larry Julian SID# 18775682

777 Stanton Blvd.

Ontario, OR 97914-8335

Transported on July 13, 2011

When I didn't get a call from Larry on the 13th, I figured they were transporting him and I was right. He didn't call, but I did get a call from the system that notifies you of where an inmate in custody is. I was told he had been transported to Snake River Correctional Facility in Ontario, Oregon. He is about two hours from where we are now. I wish I were closer so I could just drive by and feel close to him. I am hoping I will be able to visit him soon and my application for visits will be approved. I just miss him.

Larry is doing very well, he has had the opportunity to have some spiritual experiences and if feeling very close to the Lord. He told me that he almost feels like he prayed for this to happen. He asked the Lord to strengthen him and now he is able to see that prayer is being answered through his prison time. He told me yesterday and today that he truly feels he prayed for this to happen without knowing this would be the way the Lord would strengthen him. I am very thankful for the changes I can see occurring in him. He is an amazing man and I have always wished he could see what I see in him. Now maybe he will. Anyway, I will be posting his address in another post for those that would like to write to him.

Trying to make trouble for the counselor!

My last post discusses what Larry's counselor said to him and how it makes us all feel better knowing that someone understands. Today, Larry is back with the regular population at Coffee Creek intake facility and his counselor came over and spoke with him again, for the fourth time. First was their original meeting where I told of the things he told Larry, then when he gave him the messages about my call, he then went again to check on him and told him that very few people make a lasting impression on him, but Larry is one he said he will not soon forget. So, today when he met with him it was because I made a comment on facebook about how nice it was to have the counselor understand that Larry doesn't belong there and how the counselor had made the comment about Larry getting a raw deal. Well, someone from Burns called the prison to complain about the counselor 'taking sides'! How ridiculous is that? They told him that a man in his position should stand behind 'we the people'. So I guess he is not supposed to have an opinion when someone with no criminal history, that has passed a lie detector test, and tests as a non threatening person comes in for a long measure 11 stay. Larry asked me to just be more careful who I say what to.

I believe it is ridiculous for anyone to spend their time looking at my facebook page to see what my family is up to after Larry has been sentenced. The only thing I hope is that it is because that person must be loosing sleep at night because of their own guilty conscience and then gets up to check my facebook. If it was such an open and shut case as many of 'those' people would have others believe, they would close the book once he was sentenced right? I would think if I knew so much about something and was confident in the sentence being the right thing, I would be done after the sentence. I think it is real sad that people can't just leave well enough alone, and to call to attempt to get the counselor into trouble is really pathetic!

The one thing is, the counselor did say he is still entitled to his opinion, he just will be more careful with sharing it from now on. So, if somehow the person trying to cause trouble has access to this page (which I would hope it is not someone I trust enough to let on), I would say to them "you didn't accomplish anything, he still thinks Larry got a raw deal"!

Ok, so now I will apologize for ranting, it is just people like this that like to keep salt in our wounds that truly get under my skin! I am trying so hard to forgive all of them it is just so hard when they keep the drill on to tighten the screws they have us tied down with!